Whisper App

Fri, 17 Feb 2017 20:33:02 +0000

"My brain when I try to sleep: "All my bills. All my chores. All the stress. Who am I? What is the universe?!" My brain during the day: "Potato potato, ching chong tomato""

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    There's no louder sound than the crunch of something you're not supposed to be eating.

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    *When seeing graffiti in a bridge* Some people: That's art! Other people: That's vandalism Me: How the hell did they get up there??

    I'm the kind of girl who would eat Doritos on my wedding and accidentally wipe my hands on my wedding dress.

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    Brain: I see you are trying to sleep. May I offer a selection of your worst memories from the last 10 years?

    But I'll probs be a potato forever, sooooo