Fri, 17 Feb 2017 20:33:02 +0000
"My brain when I try to sleep: "All my bills. All my chores. All the stress. Who am I? What is the universe?!" My brain during the day: "Potato potato, ching chong tomato""
Funny Pictures Of The Day - 33 Pics
There's no louder sound than the crunch of something you're not supposed to be eating.
I repeat abort mission?!!
But I'll probs be a potato forever, sooooo
I'm the kind of girl who would eat Doritos on my wedding and accidentally wipe my hands on my wedding dress.
Comic sands are so punny that they will make you so DUNE with everything.
"Today my kids were arguing. My oldest yelled, "YOU WERE ADOPTED." My younger child's comeback was "WELL, AT LEAST THEY WANTED ME." Okay, even I must admit that's a good one. "
*makes eye contact* Whispers: no one will ever believe you